WAYS KIDS RUIN YOUR SEX LIFE 18+

10 Ways Kids Ruin Your Sex Life Before Your daughter was born, you and your patner had an awesome sex life. you were skinny and wore lingerie. He was energetic and attentive. Now that you are parents,you are pretty much like roommates who share a bed unless one of us is snoring. I know it’s typical to have a dry spell during the little kid years Here’s why: 1. I’m Crazy Tired I never get enough sleep, and I always go to bed feeling like I just ran a marathon, only without the sense of accomplishment. And knowing I’ll have to rise at 6 a.m. the next morning is a real cock-a-doodle-don’t. 2. We Flirt Less We used to send each other saucy texts, like, “What are you wearing?” Now I write, “The deposit is due for preschool,” and he texts, “Did she take a nap today?” We’re so busy being responsible grown-ups that we forget how much fun it was to act like love-struck teens. 3. I’m Feeling Frumpy Pre-baby I wore makeup, dressed cute (easy when I had a waistline), and spent an obscene amount on my hair and nails. Now I’m the pajama queen, and all my splurges are on organic produce. I’m a prime candidate for a TV makeover show. Tell a friend. 4. I’m All Cuddled Out When I was nursing, my body belonged to my daughter. I had my sore/leaky/tired boobs cordoned off with a velvet rope—tiny VIPs only. Even though my kid weaned and eats cheeseburgers now, I still do plenty of carrying, cuddling, boo-boo kissing and occasional co-sleeping. By the end of the day, my body is usually looking for some space. I’m trying to remember whether I ran the dishwasher. 5. Me-Time Is for Me If I have a rare 20 minutes to myself, I can think of a dozen things that would take precedence over sex; like reading magazines, taking a bath or eating a cookie. Obviously, none of these activities holds a candle to good lovin’, but they’re instantly gratifying and require little effort or cleanup. 6. My Head’s Not in the Game Like any mom, my to-do list is never-ending, and somehow it’s also much louder than my libido. Instead of concentrating on his kisses, I’m trying to remember whether I ran the dishwasher and where I put the phone number for the pediatric dentist. If I could find a way to talk dirty about chores, I might be able to kill two birds with one stone. 7. The Very Real Risk of Coitus Interrupt us You know what I’m talking about: Just when you’re “close,” the baby starts wailing. Or the toddler barges in. Or the newly licensed teenager hits the garage with the car. Kids are such cockblocks, right? Our child is sleeping through the night but often wakes shrieking from a bad dream. It’s hard to lose myself in the moment when I know how quickly the moment could be over. 8. I’m Stressed He’ll shoot me that cute, “Want to?” look and I’ll be like, “I can’t right now, I’m busy panicking about child predators.” Becoming a mom has turned me into such a worrywart. I even worry about the consequences of us not having enough sex, but I’m too anxious to do anything about it. 9. Our Bedroom Is More Like a Rec Room Experts say the bedroom should be reserved for sex and sleep only. Tell that to the piles of laundry, stacks of board books and noisy toys that moved in once our daughter arrived. What’s worse is that all our old sex props—scented candles, groovy music, massage oil—somehow got lost in the shuffle. During a recent attempt, the best we were able to muster was the R&B cable TV station, and it was distractingly cheesy. 10. We’re Trying to Make Another Baby When we do have sex, it’s often because I’m ovulating. Sex on-demand can be pretty good the first night (oh, sex, I remember you, I like you) but by the third at-bat, we’re both complaining we have a headache. The irony is that if I do get pregnant, it’s going to be even longer before our sex life gets back on track.

MEN WHO WILL NEVER MARRY YOU 18+

If you’re looking for Mr. Right, you may have to kiss a couple of frogs until you’ll meet that perfect guy that will truly deserve you, because you should know that there are actually a few types of men who will never marry you, no matter what you would do. That’s just the way they are at the moment. Some may change and some will not. But, after all, it’s not your duty to wait for them until they are ready to take that big step and marry you. You should definitely avoid these types of men who will never marry you, because you’ll only waste your time since none of these guys will seal the deal with you. 1. Mr. “Not Ready for a Serious Relationship Yet” In my opinion, this is one of the most common types of men who will never marry you. He likes to date a lot and when things become too serious, he gets scared and simply leaves, telling you that he’s not ready for a serious relationship yet. Well, maybe he will never be. There’s no point in trying to change him or show him that you are perfect for him. You’ll only look desperate and you’ll waste all your energy chasing a man that tries to avoid commitm 2. Mr. “Not over His Ex” This is definitely the type of guy you should avoid if you’re looking for Mr. Right. This man is still hung up on his ex-girlfriend even if he won’t admit it. He always talks about her, about her hobbies, interests or even about the things they did together. This man still needs some time to heal before starting to date again, so he's definitely not ready to marry you. 3. Mr. “Too Focused on His Career” This guy still tries to figure out what he wants to do in his career and he’s always focused on everything related to his job. He never has enough time for the two of you and his work always comes first. Samantha Daniels, a well-known professional matchmaker and relationship expert, said that “Men need to be settled in their careers or at least know which direction they are headed on the career front before they can settle down.” I couldn’t agree more! 4. Mr. “Always Looking for a Bigger Better Deal” With this man you’ll feel absolutely amazing, except that he will never be ready to commit to you. That's because, sadly, he will always look for someone he thinks might be better for him, even though what you two have is wonderful. He will always keep his options open, wondering if he will find a better version of you somewhere in this world. I’m sure you wouldn’t want to be with someone who will never think that you’re good enough for him. 5. Mr. “I Always Hang Out with Kids Half My Age” This is the man who is in his late 40s, who has an impressive career (usually he is an executive of some sort) and while all his childhood friends are married and settled down, he always hangs out with kids half his age. He’s always going clubbing and partying, looking to pick up younger girls. The thing is that he is also lying to himself because when a 20-year-old lady goes out on a date with him, it’s not because she finds him so interesting or attractive; it’s often because of his money. 6. Mr. “I Haven’t Found The Right One” This type of man is usually over 50 and has never been married before because he always says he never found the right lady. Well, you should start to ask yourself some questions, because if he hasn’t found the perfect match among the hundreds of girls he has dated before, why would you be the right one to marry him? Try to be cautious and protect your feelings! 7. Mr. “I Only Care about My Kids” This guy has won your love by showing what a great father he is and has really impressed you by how much he loves his children. You really admire him for all the sacrifices he makes in order to see his kids happy and you think that he might be the perfect guy for you. Don’t get me wrong! There’s nothing wrong with a responsible father. But when this man focuses too much on his children and never has enough time for you or your relationship, you should start asking yourself if he will ever find a place for you in his heart or in his life. In my opinion, these were the most significant types of men who will never marry you, no matter what you do. I’m sure my list is incomplete though, so I’ll need you to give me a hand. What other types of men would you add to this list? Do tell! AUTHORS DOLAPO OKERAYI KOLADE KADESHPRINCE

STEPS TO HELP YOU REACH A COMPROMISE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP 18+

If you are in a relationship for very long, you will have to learn to compromise with your partner. Compromise is an important part of any relationship. It can help you to overcome obstacles and restore closeness again. These 7 steps can help you to reach compromise with your partner. 1. Define The True Issue If you want to find compromise with your partner, first you have to define the true issue. This means that you sift through the disagreement to see what is really at the heart of it. Don’t let yourselves get distracted by letting other issues get pulled in. Stick to the true issue. If you can figure out what that is, you are at a good starting point. 2. Listen to One Another Sometimes, during a disagreement, we are so sure that we are correct that we don’t hear one another. We are only thinking about ourselves and how right we are. If you want to reach a compromise with your partner, you need to listen to each other. Try to see their point of view and where they are coming from. You don’t have to agree but you do need to listen. 3. Be Empathetic If you can reach the point where you can listen to one another and try to understand each other’s point of view, you will be much more likely to reach a compromise. Try to understand your partner’s feelings. You still don’t have to see things their way but try to understand why they feel like they do. Empathy will bring you many steps closer to compromise. It will put you many steps in the right direction. 4. State What You Each Want After you define the issue and try to understand each other’s thoughts and feelings, you need to do this step. State what you each want. What would make you happy out of the situation you are disagreeing over? It is important to think about what you need to be okay with the circumstances you are in. Both of your feelings matter here. 5. Suggest Possible Compromises After you each state what you want, you need to start moving toward one another. You are both going to have to give a little. That is what compromise truly is. Both parties have a different desired outcome and will try to find a new outcome that gives each party a portion of what they want. Think about how you can give on your side. Suggest different options for both of you to give on. 6. Be Willing to Bend a Little You have to be willing to bend a little. This is the hard part. It means that both of you are not going to get exactly what you want. But you can each get a portion of what you want when you bend a little. You want to bend and make sure that your partner is too. You might even take turns suggesting how you will bend to try to meet in the middle until you find common ground. 7. Tweak It It is important to realize that a compromise is a working agreement. It will probably have to be tweaked from time to time. It is good to keep in mind that it is not something solid. It can also be reassuring to remember that you can revisit this issue as needed. You will eventually get the issue to the point of a compromise you are both happy with if you keep lines of communication open. These are 7 important steps you need to take when you are working toward a compromise. Compromises can help you through difficult patches in your relationship when you cannot reach agreement any other way. Have you been through situations in your relationship where compromise was the answer? AUTHORS: DOLAPO OKERAYI KOLADE KADESHPRINCE